


I Was Busy Thinkin' 'Bout Boys

by hustlexrose



Category: Younger (TV)
Genre: F/F, Femslash, Non-Canon Relationship, clearly this is my favorite dynamic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-20
Updated: 2021-01-20
Packaged: 2021-03-12 01:47:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28877421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hustlexrose/pseuds/hustlexrose
Summary: Liza discovers Diana has been harboring a secret of her own.
Relationships: Diana/Liza
Kudos: 1





	I Was Busy Thinkin' 'Bout Boys

**Author's Note:**

> Branching out into a an even more niche show, with an even niche-ier femslash. But surely I can't be the only one watching this show who has thought about the Diana/Liza ship, right? And so, I present to to the universe a fix-it fic for S05E03 for what I saw as a missed opportunity. Haven't finished the show yet, but maybe I'll will it into existence (narrator: she wouldn't). 
> 
> Oh and spoilers. So many spoilers. 
> 
> Title from "Boys" by Charli XCX.

"Well, you wanted to get a job, didn't you?" Charles asked over his shoulder. He didn't wait for a reply. He didn't want one. Liza watched him walk away and the realization washed over her like a cold shower. Not only did he not want to hear what she had to say, he genuinely did not care. 

Liza watched him hail a cab down the block and get in. He never looked back. Not once. She stood there, crestfallen under the grid of the New York City lights. She was at a loss. It didn't even matter now how he had found out. The point was that he had found out and she hadn't been the one to tell him. The anger and bewilderment she'd seen tonight were more than she'd ever pictured when she'd imagined telling him- coming clean about everything. She'd fantasized about it too many times to count. But she never imagined it happening like this. They'd be at dinner, or even at his house. She'd sit him down, calmly, over a glass of wine, and carefully explain everything from the beginning, just like she'd done with Josh and Kelsey. She practically had a script by now. He'd be shocked, but sympathetic; confused, but compassionate. 

And maybe he could have been, should have been, but now she'd never know. Her secret escaped in the worst way possible- without her consent. The way our deepest ones seem so often inclined to do. If only she hadn't been such a coward. If only she had been the one to tell him, she knew she could have helped him understand. But now, not only had she lied in the first place, she'd kept it from him for so long. She feared the trust she'd broken could never be mended. 

She'd told Josh. She'd told Kelsey. And, yes, it was hard and it hurt each time. It hurt her to tell them and it hurt them to hear it from her. People she truly cared about. But she had gone to them. She had trusted them. Trusted them to understand. And they did. In the end, they did. 

So what happened here? Did she not trust Charles? That's certainly what it seemed like. Would he ever look at her the same way again? Could she even bear to show her face in the office tomorrow? 

The office. She looked at her phone. It was late, but she couldn't let this go on another minute. She couldn't allow herself to go through one more night knowing she was lying to someone she cared about. There was one more person she had to tell, and Liza knew exactly where she'd be. 

***

"Thanks," Liza said as she slid out of her Uber. She slammed the car door a little harder than she'd intended. The car sped off into the night, the tires whooshing against the rain on the pavement from that afternoon's storm. The driver didn't care about the slammed door or Liza and her problems. 

She stood outside the Empirical building and looked up at the windows shining in the night. The enormity of it consumed her. Most of the lights were out, but the street was shiny with water, a surreal glow around her feet. 

Liza took a deep breath and exhaled through her mouth. Her nerves were shaking her entire system, but she tried to strengthen her resolve. This was something she had to do, she told herself. It was now or never. 

***

Liza walked down the hall of the Empirical office. She came here every day, but it was different at night. The empty desks, the silent phones, the darkened offices- all except for one. 

Liza stood in the doorway for a moment watching. Diana was so obviously engrossed in whatever she was reading, she didn't even notice Liza was there. Diana was sitting on the couch with bare legs outstretched, crossed demurely at the ankle. She absently fingered the soft ends of her bobbed hair, lost in thought. Her glasses were on, her shoes were off. 

Liza grinned to herself, taking it in for a moment. Diana so rarely let her guard down, but as her assistant, Liza did get to see it from time to time and it stirred something in her. An affection, a longing. Her mind cast back to the awards ceremony they'd attended recently, just after Diana had finally dropped the guy she'd been seeing. Liza remembered how Diana had taken her hand that night as Liza tried to walk away, pulling her into the photo op as her "date." A small jolt had shot through Liza's core then. A lightening bolt of excitement. But she had pushed it from her mind. It had been nothing- right?

Admittedly, there were other times too, that Liza had thought maybe, just maybe, there was some subtext to Diana's words and actions. The mild flirtations, her demanding nature, the way she was always chiding Liza about being "boy crazy." Liza had never been with a woman before, but she had watched Maggie burn through enough for both of them. The truth was, she wasn't opposed to it, she became more open-minded about a lot of things after her divorce. She'd just never found the right person. She had to admit she'd had fleeting thoughts that Diana might be that person- in the shower, riding the subway, when she laid in bed awake in the middle of the night. All those times when your brain can truly empty and cleanse itself; properly wander. Diana had all the same traits that had attracted her to Charles. She was confident and mature, uncompromising and ambitious. Secure in herself, her career. But she was kind too, in her way. Gentle and more vulnerable than she let on. Despite her physical attraction to Charles, Liza had always felt she was being held at arms length. Diana had mentored her, cared about her. But Liza already had one office romance that was complicated enough, and now it had turned into a complete disaster. Plus, Diana still thought she was 26. Maybe in another life.

"Oh my God!" Diana's exclamation shook Liza out of her introspection and she jumped slightly in spite of herself. Diana hurriedly sat up straight on the couch, dropping the manuscript on the carpet in the process. Shoulders back, bare feet flat on the floor, she smoothed out the skirt of her dress over her knees and composed herself. 

"Oh my God, Diana, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to startle you." Liza put both palms to her chest in apology. 

"It's alright," Diana replied, taking off her glasses and eyeing Liza suspiciously. "Why are you here? Need to get a head start on tomorrow's work? Some important... tweets?" She rolled her eyes and bent down to pick up the manuscript. She smoothed out the corner pages that had been dented in the fall. 

Liza let out a soft sigh of relief and a little laugh. "No, I uh...," she faltered. Could she really do this? What if she got fired? And worse, what if she lost Diana's respect? What if she never saw her again?

Diana looked up at her expectantly. "Well? Go on- out with it." Her voice was genuinely curious but agitated. "I have a hundred pages to read by 9 am." She looked down at her heels and bent at the waist to put them back on. "God, when you're young it's like you have all the time in the world," she said under her breath. She struggled getting her left foot in, shifting it from side to side, using her thumb as a shoe horn. 

"Diana, I'm 40," Liza heard herself blurt out. She had no idea where she'd suddenly found the courage, but she ripped it off like an old band-aid. She braced for impact. 

Diana won the battle with the obstinate heel and said, without looking up, "I was wondering when you were finally going to tell me." 

Liza was so shocked she felt her mouth literally fall open. He brow scrunched up in confusion. Did she just say... ? No. Liza was speechless for a moment, but somehow found her voice, just barely. 

"E-excuse me?" 

Diana sat up slowly and lifted her eyes to meet Liza's. "You heard me." She said it with a lilt that was almost a tease, a dare. A challenge from someone who was used to being right. "You may have had Charles and Kelsey fooled but-" 

"But you knew. You knew this whole time. Why didn't you-" 

Diana cut her off with a dismissive wave of her hand. "Oh, Liza, please." She stood up and walked toward her desk carrying the manuscript. "You know I can't deal with those real 20-year-olds. Remember when you first took on your new responsibilities as an editor and we tried a new assistant for me for what- a day? She gave me a migraine." She typed something into her computer and sat down, plunking the manuscript onto her desk. "Plus her coffee was terrible." She fiddled with her mouse and started clicking around like she was closing a lot of browser windows. Her eyes were fixed to the screen. 

"Diana, I don't know what to say, I-" Liza started, but she was genuinely stunned and didn't know how to finish. Diana had kept her secret for her and played along. All this time. Why?

"Well don't say anything," Diana said as if she thought Liza was an idiot. She began methodically placing things in her over-sized purse. "Do you think I've kept my mouth shut this whole time for nothing? If Charles found out, well," she laughed to herself and shook her head. "He would fire you immediately. Your career would be over and I can't lose you." 

She finally looked at Liza then, realizing her error. She cleared her throat and looked back down at the papers on her desk. She made a vague gesture with her hand. "As my assistant, I mean."

Liza felt her cheeks go warm. She smiled to herself as Diana stood up to put on her coat and gloves. Liza suddenly felt self-conscious now that she knew Diana knew her secret. Liza was always flouncing around the office in too short skirts, graphic tees and accessories aimed at girls half her age. The girl she was pretending to be. Diana always looked so elegant and confident. She wasn't pretending to be anyone. She didn't need to. Liza looked down at the floor, embarrassed. 

"Charles knows," she said quietly. "I didn't tell him, but he knows. I just found out." 

"Well," Diana raised her eyebrows and she pulled a glove onto her hand. "That's certainly a pickle you're in, Liza." She picked up her bag and slung it over her shoulder, walking toward the door frame where Liza was still awkwardly leaning. "Especially considering your little love triangle." 

Liza's eyes widened. "Wait, you know about-" 

"Liza, let me tell you something," Diana said in the exasperated, yet patient, way you might talk to a child. "I know everything that goes on in this office. And, frankly, even if I didn't, I was at that company picnic where Josh punched Charles in the face. I know a jealous lover when I see one." She stopped short right in front of Liza, close enough so she could smell Diana's perfume. The faint hint of Givenchy after a long day that started before 5 am. 

Diana looked Liza up and down once before looking her dead in the eyes. Liza bit her bottom lip. "So let me repeat this little piece of advice." A mocking look of feigned concern crossed Diana's face. "In case you've forgotten." Diana reached one gloved hand up and gently moved Liza's hair away from her face. She leaned in and whispered slowly, deliberately in Liza's ear, "Maybe it's time to stop being so boy crazy." 

Liza's eyes fluttered as Diana's breath hit her neck. She felt something unexpected between her legs. The bloom of possibility. Before she knew what was happening, Liza felt her hands on the back of Diana's neck pulling her in for a kiss. Diana instantly dropped her bag to the floor and laced her fingers through Liza's hair. Liza savored her, the feeling of Diana's tongue in her mouth. The feeling of finally getting something she didn't even know she'd been waiting for. 

Diana pulled back and smiled almost imperceptibly. Liza was frozen in place and Diana seemed pleased by this. The faintest tint of Diana's lipstick was stained across Liza's mouth. 

"See you tomorrow," Diana said slyly. She picked up her bag and walked past her out into the hallway. 

By the time Liza felt her breath return to her body, Diana was already halfway to the elevators. 

"Diana-" Liza called after her, practically stumbling over herself to catch up. She was only a couple of steps away as she watched Diana get into the elevator and push the button.

"Remember Liza," Diana said smoothly. Her voice even-toned and intimidatingly calm. "He was only interested when he thought you were in your twenties." The doors started closing and Liza jammed her hand in to stop them. "But my feelings have always been the same," Diana smiled. Liza watched her press the button again and felt the doors closing on her. She reflexively pulled her hand back. "And don't be late tomorrow," Diana barked as the doors closed, leaving Liza with even more questions than she had started with.


End file.
